FOOD POEMS and HUMOR SECTION

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Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Hypothetical answers from various famous people.
(author unknown)

Ralph Nader
“Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers.  chickens aren’t ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them.  Down with the roads, up with chickens.”
 

Pat Buchanan
“To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.”
 

Dr. Seuss
“Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!”
 

Bill Gates
“I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.”
 

Ernest Hemingway
“To die.  In the rain.”
 

Aristotle
“It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.”
 

Karl Marx
“It was a historical inevitability.”
 

Grandpa
“In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”
 

Saddam Hussein
“This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.”
 

Ronald Regan
“What chicken?”
 

Captain James T. Kirk
“To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.”
 

Fox Mulder
“You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?”
 

Sigmund Freud
“The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.”
 

Senator Lieberman
“I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way.  Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.”
 

Jerry Falwell
“Because the chicken was gay!  Isn’t it obvious?  Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the ‘other side.’  That’s what ‘they’ call it -- the ‘other side.’
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.  And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’
That chicken should not be free to cross the road.  It’s plain and simple as that.”
 

Einstein
“Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?”
 

Bill Clinton
“I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by ‘chicken?’
Could you define “chicken” please.”
 

Louis Farrakhan
“The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The chicken crossed the ‘black man’ in order to trample him and keep him down.”

The Bible
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”  And the chickens crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.