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Diets and Dieting Food Quotes

“Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.”
Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)
 

“I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets: It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.”
Jean Kerr, author, playwright

“I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu.”
Jane Wagner (American writer, director)

“If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.”
Jean Kerr, author, playwright

“I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a Rottweiler chase you home.”
Billy Connolly (Scottish actor, comedian)

“I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.”
Paula Poundstone (comedian)

“My husband and I both gained weight after we got married, so we went on a diet together. He lost weight and I didn't.  I had to feed him intravenously in his sleep.”
Rita Rudner (Comedian)

“The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.”
Jackie Gleason
 

"So far I've always kept my diet secret but now I might as well tell everyone what it is. Lots of grapefruit throughout the day and plenty of virile young men at night."
Angie Dickinson, actress
 

"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."
Mae West
 

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand"
Unknown
 

"To me, an airplane is a great place to diet."
Wolfgang Puck
 

"How long does getting thin take?"
Winnie the Pooh, ‘Winnie the Pooh’ by A. A. Milne
 

"It's OK to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it."
Roseanne Arnold
 

"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 14 days I lost two weeks."
Joe E. Lewis
 

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
Erma Bombeck
 

"No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office."
Covert Bailey (fitness expert)
 

"To eat is human. To digest divine."
Mark Twain
 

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Fran Lebowitz, 'Food for Thought and Vice Versa'
 

"Dieting: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer."
Jan Murray
 

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
Jim Davis, 'Garfield'
 

"Life is too short for cuisine minceur and for diets. Dietetic meals are like an opera without the orchestra."
Paul Bocuse
 

“A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.”
Hermione Gingold, actress